How long does it really take to create a lasting habit? Two weeks? 21 days? 6 months? How long should you expect to start seeing results?

Your expectations about the timeline it takes to get results and to have a real habit dramatically impact your experience. It kind of determines everything! It determines whether you get frustrated and finally give up, or if you’re calm and at peace about the whole process, able to sit back and just keep going. So, this conversation is REALLY important!

A quick story…

I can’t even begin to tell you how many women I coach that have completely unrealistic timeline expectations for their progress. Someone told them something at some point about timelines and how long it takes, and when they cross that line and it hasn’t happened yet, the entire thing blows up. And they just give up and throw in the towel.

Honestly, this is one of my personal soapboxes. Pardon my expression here, but it pisses me off when I see other trainers and programs out there telling you that you can accomplish something in a certain time frame that is absolutely ridiculous. This industry is riddled with false hope and pipe dreams. And it’s probably why you’ve given up so many times in the past and feel like such a failure because you’re constantly starting over.

I was chatting with one of my friends not that long ago, and she started coaching with me last year. After hemming and hawwing about it for a while, she finally pulled the trigger and joined me in my Jumpstart 30 program. So, I coached her through getting her nutrition and fitness habits jumpstarted for 30 days in that program, and then we continued on together for another 60 days in my Jumpstart 60 program, and then after that we kept going… GS30, then GetstrongX.

Her big goal through the entire process was for healthy eating to become second nature, and to just become a woman that works out 3 days a week, and ultimately to simply be a consistently healthy woman that is always keeping her fitness and nutrition a top priority. And she was doing great!

About 9 months into her journey, everybody in her family got sick. One kid after another kept getting sick and she’s not able to give her habits the attention she felt they deserved like she had been able to when things were more normal. She just didn’t have the time.

She felt like a failure, felt like food would always be in control of her, felt like none of these things would ever be a real habit.

And I looked at her and said, “Jamie, you’re doing great! You’re actually right on track, timeline-wise. Obviously things aren’t a sticky habit yet, and that’s totally normal. You don’t have to start over, let’s just keep going.”

She didn’t believe me at first, because she was like, “I’m 9 months into this. This is supposed to be waaaay easier by now.”

“Nope, it’s not. It doesn’t get easy for a while. And if you want your healthy habits to really become second nature, we’ve got to adjust those expectations so you can stop getting so disappointed in yourself.”

THE BIG IDEA

In this episode, I want to teach you the real timeline. I want to set things straight.

• There’s something I like to call The Habit Rule of 3’s - and I’m going to explain it to you.
• This is super important because I don’t want you to be jaded about your own process, and to foolishly give up long before you give things a chance to set in. But you also do need some hard expectations, too. I get that. You need something to point to, a benchmark to try and hit.
• Ultimately, I want you to feel encouraged and re-inspired today.

The Habit Rule of 3’s - Background

Understand the rules of 3’s to set new expectations for what your journey will look like:

Full disclosure: Background - how this came about…

• My own observations from 16 years of training professionally
• Throughout those years, my number one goal for everyone I coach - the holy grail - is to transform their life. Not their month. To help them become a strong, fit, and healthy person for life… not just for a short period of time
• There are LOTS of habit formation theories out there, ones you’ve probably already heard about:
• It takes 21 days to create a habit, or 2 weeks, or whatever
• But most of those theories apply to really simple things, like brushing your teeth or journaling for 5 minutes in the morning
• Forming lasting eating and exercise habits is a completely different ballgame, and so most often those theories just don’t work and they set you up for frustration
• So this Habit Rule of 3’s is something I have carefully observed in all my years coaching women, and it is 99.99% accurate

The Habit Rule of 3’s - Here is your new expectation timeline

• 3 weeks to notice a positive feeling from your consistent new habit (need frequent and constant reminders, not easy yet, have to fight to keep prioritizing it). At this point, you may notice you have more energy, and you feel better overall.
• 3 months to notice a physical change from your consistent new habit (still need constant reminders, not easy yet but getting easier, not quite as much of a fight). At this point, you may notice your posture improving, muscle mass changing, and even body fat composition decreasing.
• 3 years to notice your consistent new habit become your new life (don’t need constant reminders, habit is now easy, it’s who you are)
• I frequently interview moms on this podcast that I’ve been coaching for years, and ask them “can you still see yourself doing this 3 years from now?” Usually their answer is, “I can’t imagine my life without it.” Every single one of those moms has spent at least 3 years in the grind with me.

How this applies to you

Moving forward, you need to:

• Adjust your expectations of what it takes to create a habit. Create new timelines and benchmarks. Get to that 3 week mark, the 3 month mark, the 3 year mark!
• Be honest with yourself about your consistency.
• You need to make your habits easy enough so you KNOW you can still be doing this 3 months from now, 9 months from now, 3 years from now.
• Have constantly accountability - you need the constant reminders. Unless you’re a professional and this is your job where it’s always top of mind, you can’t expect yourself to be able to make it a high priority for 3 straight years. You need help. And that’s ok!

Do you need proof?

When I was chatting with my friend Jamie, I could visibly see her shoulders relax. She instantly had more confidence in herself. Realizing she was almost 1 year in, and still showing up. So she was doing great! And every day she showed up, she was moving closer to true and lasting habit formation.

• She’ll be more confident. She’ll feel like she’s in control of her health and can set a great example for her kids to follow.

Final Takeaways

The big idea here is to be on the lookout for anything that’s trying to convince you that you can achieve lasting results in a much shorter timeframe. If it says that, just say “nope”.

Adjust your expectations and create honest benchmarks.

And press on.

One of my favorite verses is Galatians 6:9: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

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More Resources

JUMPSTART 30 - Jumpstart your weight loss and healthy habits in less than 15 minutes a day!

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Galatians 6:9

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